What Category do you fall into?? Classification of an Average Nigerian University Student

*** JACK THE BOOKWORM: This guy or type of people reads everything that has to do with his or their academic work to the extent that they use them in everyday conversation sometimes even knowing some concepts more than their lecturers. Their favourite ‘fun spot’ is usually the library, stadium or one of those other isolated places. They usually have that nickname – ‘First Class’ although many of them end up not graduating with a First class degree. They are usually ignorant of happenings around them or even some occurrences around school because of their sometimes ‘withdrawn’ nature. Ask them something like ‘who were the people protesting on campus the other day?’ And you get a reply along the lines of, ‘I don’t know, how does that add to my GP?’

***JULIE THE MARKETER: Julie has the hustling spirit and this is how she likes to describe it but in the real sense, she is a ‘runz gal’. Marketing in this contest refers to ‘showcasing’ her ‘wares’ and getting paid for them. The nature of her job(s) makes traveling a compulsory hobby sometimes as she is always on the go. She is hardly found on campus or in class because of the demanding nature of this job. She is classy and would appear in expensive wears, jewelries and phones, all thanks to her wealthy clientele. Some individuals in this class are smart and could write and speak legibly, others are outright dumb, couldn’t even spell their names but only know one thing – money.

***ALEXANDER THE TERRIBLE: He was probably ‘blended’ in his first or second year on campus and is then termed a ‘strong man’. He is rarely found in class except during certain practical classes or on exams day. He appears innocent sometimes and is unnecessarily humble as it is common for him to refer to you as ‘Boss’ or ‘Sir’. People who know him treats him with respect just to avoid getting themselves into trouble with him and he always have his way with ‘Jew men’. He could be seen sometimes with a bag hanging across his shoulder – a bag you dare not touch or try to open. Alexander may not be caught smoking in public but he sure is a smoker and spends a lot of time hanging out with the boys at the bar, exchanging banters in between bottles or discussing ‘business’ in hushed tones.

***MATERIALISTIC NONSO: He/she is that boy or girl that would rocks the latest fashion or uses that phone that is in vogue. This ‘shiny’ individual would spend money trying to look like those models on some music videos or even the celebrity themselves all thanks to the plethora of uncles, aunties, brothers, sisters, cousins etc that they would ‘tax’ before returning to school even after their parents must have given them their allowances. He/she is probably from a ‘humble’ home but when you get to see this person in school, you’d think that the father owns an oil bloc due to their flashy appearance. Nonso would lie about everything starting from what his/her father does for a living down to why they are not attending a university abroad or a private university.

***KALU THE ENTREPRENEUR: This guy has ‘business’ written over him, from the way he talks, reasons, down to his views about life. You shouldn’t be surprised if rumours starts flying around about him owning a space at that market close to the school. Kalu, who maybe one of those people whose parents would rather starve to ensure that he remains in school sees making-money-while-in-school as the perfect getaway from frustration and inadequate funding. He sometimes drops out of school in pursuit of happiness or finishes and then faces business squarely.

***UCHE THE APOSTLE: Uche could be a boy or girl or to be more specific, that brother or sister. If you happen to be his/her roommate, be ready to get to know Jesus personally. If there is something you feel he needs to know ASAP and his number seem not to be available or his cell is turned off, just try to locate him first at the school’s Gethsamane (usually a place , not necessarily a church where students gather to pray sometimes) or in any other place (s) where brethren meet. Uche eats, reads and sleeps the bible sometimes even forgetting about his/her coursework till exams day. Uche stays in the hostel or have an apartment offcampus but a greater part of his/her day is spent attending one fellowship meeting or the other. Although he may not be in your faculty but don’t be surprised to find him in front of your class one early morning just before lecture commences trying to tell the whole class a thing or two about Jesus Christ.

***JOHN THE CLASS CLOWN: Every class in every department in every faculty in the University has this particular guy. He cracks everybody up with either his speech, body movement or the way he answers question in class. Most people see him as unserious but he could be one of those people that exams haven’t really favoured and so they sought solace in making others smile.

***PATRICK THE RANDOM GUY: He is what some people call the unusual everyday guy. He attends class just like every other person, submits assignments and writes exams just like every other student. He is usually not involved in things like politics or sports in the department but he could be found among the observing crowd. He appears simple and does not court attention. He is the best person to ask for any information concerning the department or faculty because he can be found everywhere as long as there are people there and it has to do with the department or faculty.

What category do you belong in? Comment below.